A long time ago I realized this through trial and error.
I carry around PTSD in a crappy backpack that I’ve been trying to ditch for decades.
I avoid anger because it fits differently on me while wearing this stupid backpack. There are times that I get hurt and I’m off to Ross for some cheap deals on ill fitting jackets of rage and a nice long torturous necktie.
Choked and confined like a stupid angry mime, I’ll step in front of the mirror and masquerade like a tantrumonious child ( I feel trantrumonious might not be a real word ) It is the mirror however that does it.
Revealing the reflection as unflattering as it may be that I have let getting hurt turn into anger once again. So instead of breaking the mirror and walking away, I walk up to it and search it’s image.
Where on the doll did they hurt you?
If I cannot identify my pain, I’ll never be able to identify what triggers it. This is where you find the trials This is where you find the errors Staring at yourself in the mirror Is this mixed up, manipulated, criss crossed, flipped flopped and backwards image really me?
The answer isn’t yes
The answer is KNOW
Know thyself by learning where on the doll they hurt you and why does that pain create anger within you.
Walk up to the mirror and reflect upon your reflection.
I loosen the neck tie first Then take off the jacket This backpack is stitched to my psyche so I’m still struggling with it’s weight.
But it doesn’t mean I can’t find some hot pink, fuzzy, bunny rabbit slippers and some neon green sunglasses to wear.
If I’m spending so much time in front of mirror I might as well enjoy the show.