Mid Life Virus

There are moments when the code you wrote becomes the glitch that you just cant get over, that itch, that scratch of habitual behaviors, especially the critical ones that circulate within your system creating symptoms that weaken your natural, healthy state of reality. Habitual, irresistibly epigenetic and prophetic the code we compose comes from so many sources that searching for the patch, pressing for the cure can turn into a greater struggle than just letting the virus have its way. My code was written long ago before I could read creating a brain that was arrested, trauma tested and taught a set of definitions desperately needing an introspective edit. And as such the search for credible content and ethical source materials have been the course of action to unlatch the cure from its containment. The daily affirmations, the introspective journeys, bouts, wars and treaties I travel to, through and beyond so that my symptoms don’t rewrite my reality, that the code I wrote to side step trauma does not keep me locked within the virus. Nearly fifty years of programmed PTSD and what have I found with these bloodhounds, these soul searches into the most frightening nightmares that created me, those peeks into the valleys of my life that hide the deepest rivers. We are going to search these valleys together, connect the coded tears that flow unnoticed until the glitch releases us from our virus and we see a new fully rendered rendition with a new asymptomatic view.