From time to time my father comes to mind and the broken promises I forced upon him. For decades I carried buckets and truckloads of anger for those broken promises.
Until a week ago when epiphany struck from a paradigm my perception needed to see.
All this rage for a broken contract that perhaps he wasn’t able nor willing to fulfill in the first place.
Tradition, culture and expectation defined my contract and those moments he fell short broke my mind at the time.
Like a sparking robot with incomplete computations my expectations override the reality and projections only added to the rejection that tore my heart apart.
Am I to blame for the evil deeds he committed?
The beetlejuice of rejection, my fathers sins are not my own.
But what trinity I can control are acceptance, forgiveness and grace.
And I believe through these paths a new promise will be constructed.
A new contract for souls to sign.
One evil deed at a time
I’ll go first
I accept you for what you were in this incarnation
I forgive you for your trespasses
I love you
I just need to read this a thousand times, sit with it, cry the three tears of guilt, pain and joy and step forward.
Oh, and one last thing.
I can’t do this alone
Guide my trinity
Ease my heart so I can accept
Clear my eyes so I can forgive
Open my arms so I can hold others close.